The last couple of days have been some of the best I have ever had. First we spent a couple days in Newport with Molly and her roomies who are too funny for words. We walked the cliff walk and Thames street and got some really good seafood and food. We had a pretty laid back couple of days there and then Sunday we were off to Winthrop to meet James’s parents and family. We got off to a late start but hey we’re the sweetest and we went out to thi Italian place for dinner. Then the next day we walked around deer island and then met Matt James’s best friend at panera. We also went for a little home to skull rock. Then the next day we went to Salem and walked around the shops and then went to Nahunt which is soooooo frickin beautiful. The next day we went to Cambridge and went to the museum of science and went into the butterfly room and the planetarium and saw a lightening show it was so cool. Then we walked around Cambridge which was beyond beautiful. Yesterday was the most fun though because we went into boston. We took the T in and went to long warf which is right by the water and beautiful and then we went to umberto’s which is I the north end and has the most amazing pizza I have ever had. We then went to modern pastry and they have the best chocolates and cannollis I have ever had. We took our pastries and coffee to the green way and it was 64 out and sunny and laid down in the grass. We then went to fanuel hall which is this little shopping area. Then we went to Boston common and the public garden. Then we went to newburry street and then visited old south church and trinity church in Copley square. One of which is the boondock saints church. Then we went and walked along the Charles river and sat on a statues head and I got Stuck on top for a little bit and hen we went to the north end again and had the most amazing food I have ever consumed lol
So James and I just left PA and stopped now for a stretch break on our way up to Newport,RI. I’m really excited to see Molly and Megan and to just be in that lovely city I miss so much. The plan is to spend the next couple of days there and then head to Boston on Sunday, where I will meet James’s parents for the first time (eekkk soooo scared lol) then we will stay in Boston until Friday-ish and then we are heading to my house to see my family and Emily. I think it’ll be a lt of fun! Anyways I better go, James is prolly wondering what happened to me! Goodbye for now!
When I grow up I want to be miserable…..
I mean who really says that right? Then why are there so many people walking around miserable all the time? Why are there people who seem to be addicted to feeling like crap? Well I remember I had read something a while back about misery and I found it today on the internet so I figured I’d share it with you.
10 Great Ways to be Miserable
1. Turn Molehills into Mountains
2. Dwell on it
3. Worry about things you can’t change
4. Let everything mount up
5. Blame other people
6. Beat yourself up
7. Complain, whine and grumble
8. Never accept help
9. Follow the path of least resistance
10. Never take a break
I think the most frustrating thing in the world are these people. The people who sit on their ass and complain about the same thing over and over because they like to see other people sympathize with them. Get over yourself. Everyone has their own shit to deal with, their own problem, their own past….what makes you think yours is more upsetting or important than everybody elses? Grow up. We are in college and are adults now. It’s about time you start acting like it. Do you think your boss is going to deal with your drama and complaining? Try again. I hate to be harsh but my dad went through a lot in his life and he never complained about it. I can guarantee it’s a million times more difficult than the majority of the problems people here have to deal with.
“Happiness is evidence of a grateful heart”—If you have food to eat, a place to live, warm clothes to wear, someone to love/loves you, healthcare, and are in school……you are better off than the majority of the world. Start being grateful.
So I have been thinking a lot about this concept of “by chance” recently (Thank you Keith Urban and your song “Only you can love me this way.”And I say this with the utmost sarcasm). I was trying to decide if things are better when they are guaranteed or when they happen by chance. First, I figure I should come up with examples of both-it’s always easier to reason through things that way. So what are some things that are guaranteed? Well anything that costs money is not guaranteed, because that would imply you would be guaranteed to a job (or to keep a job) which no one is unless you are a teacher or a Supreme Court justice (also keep in mind I will be taking some creative license with this—so this argument is more for fun and less concrete…). Anyways back to what is guaranteed, I’m thinking nothing is really truly guaranteed…..therefore it might be best to considered guaranteed if it is more than 70% likely that it happens(and here on out that is the definition of guaranteed we are going to use). So for the most part, us lucky people, are guaranteed our necessities (shelter, water, food, health care, heat, etc.) and pretty much our jobs even in this economic climate. We are also pretty much guaranteed to education up until college and that we will pay the government taxes( thank you so much for taking all my money :) as if I’m not broke enough). So in summation, we are guaranteed to what we need to survive and we are guaranteed to have to work for the rest of our lives (minus retirement if we are lucky). Okay, so then everything else is pretty much up in the air? There is no guarantee you will meet someone special and have a family. There is no guarantee that you will be able to keep up your hobbies, that you will be able to fulfill your dreams, that you will be able to travel, or to have kids. So far the “not guaranteed” stuff seems to be better to me. So then, aren’t there some non-guaranteed things that are more or less guaranteed then other non-guaranteed things…..like the chances of you hitting the lottery are a lot less likely than you being able to take a dance class in your free time. Does the less likely for a thing to happen make it even more valuable an experience? I think that there is almost a sense of romanticism associated with things that happen by chance.——Like stories of people meeting by chance sounds more attractive then those who grew up together…..perhaps because the idea that with maybe the matter of a few minutes or a yes as opposed to a no is what made all the difference. Let’t take story A….boy and girl are friends since preschool and are always kind of in each others’ life….they date a few people and nothing really happens…and then one day they fall for each other and get married…the end. Let’s take story B (with multiple possible variations) boy and girl live separate lives…..both go to school….both date along the way…..both do there thing…..and then one day…by chance…..they end up in line together at a coffee shop and strike up a conversation….or they meet at a bar….or in a class at college…..or on a plane ride to a distant place because one had a business trip and the other a wedding to attend……Idk….Both strike up what I like to refer to as the “Aww” reflex (The compulsion to say/think awww when something overwhelmingly cute or adorable happens). I think that if something happens by chance though…..we appreciate it a little more….because there is always the “what if” factor incorporated…..like what if I hadn’t decided to join that club…or go on that service trip…..what if I had slacked off on my application and had to reapply? Idk….it’s quite a curious thing….
“when you try your best but you don’t succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need, when you feel so tired you can’t sleep, stuck in reverse.”
Okay so new years eve is right around the bend (aka tomorrow) so I figured I should start thinking about what I wanted my resolution to be. Last year, I decided upon self acceptance- I figured that be a better goal than the typical and over used ” lose weight” that everyone throws on their list to motivate themselves for the month after and clog up the gym treadmills for those of us who have already made the gym a permanent part of our life style. Although I guess presently I can’t really speak to that, which brings me to my resolution. To once again find balance in my life. This past semester probably consisted of the worse couple of months in my life. A lot was going on. I had my RA job, my babysitting job, the class I’m teaching the freshmen, two clubs(which fell by the wayside), and A full course load of the worst nursing classes I have had yet. Now I have never been one to sit still, I thrive on being continuously busy and even more so from being under the pressure. This semester was entirely different. I did not anticipate throwing into the mix my mom being told she may have breast cancer, my sister getting sick and passing out at a track meet, my uncle having emergency surgery and a heart attack. I would wake up at 5 on Monday’s and Wednesday’s for clinicals and then right after babysitting until 6/7. Monday’s I also had building meetings until 10. Tuesday’s and Thursday’s I had class from 830-3 and on Tuesdays my forth hour with the freshmen from 4-5 and an area meeting at 10pm. Fridays I had babysitting and duty if I was on that night. I could be on any day from Thursday night to Saturday night. Add into that either a one on one with my HRA or area coordinator or an extra assignment( RA report). Plus don’t forget all the community builders we need to do, making time for residents, and resolving any building issues. I didn’t have time to keep up my normal schedule of running or yoga(had class during every yoga class) and all the babysitting money i made went towards groceries and gas for my car. All my free time I devoted to catching up on the sleep I missed or hanging out with a friend for a bit or idk the all important studying. I went out a grand total of three times and two of which were for my friends birthdays. I can’t party on campus because I’m an RA so whenever someone was having something I couldn’t really go…. I wouldn’t want to take the chance. And the worst part was I knew what was going on and what needed to be done but I couldn’t really do anything about it. Everything was an important obligation. I stopped my clubs for a semester because I seriously could not juggle that on top of everything else. It was the only place I could cut myself some slack. The other crappy part was it takes about a half hour to get to and for babysitting so that chopped out another hour of my day. My mom said I couldn’t use my obligations as an excuse or a crutch but it def played into a lot of the issues this semester. I mean I am my worst critic- I always feel like I could have and should have done better than I did. But, in all fairness I did do all of it somehow and I did a good job as an RA according to my evaluations and my residents. The girls I babysit for loved me, so much so that when their mom lost her job they begged her to have me back even though they didn’t really need me. I did well in three of my four classes and got an A in clinical and pathophysiology, and a B in pharm. there was bound to be somewhere I’d slip up a bit and I did and missed the average I needed for one of my classes my .06% which is ridiculously close and Villanova needs to revise its grading policy but nonetheless I think for the most part I made it threw. But this semester was like going threw labor….feeling the worst pressure and feeling like I was going to die but without the triumph at the end because I didn’t really achieve what I wanted or what I needed. Don’t forget the fact I didn’t take care of myself at all physically and now I’m addicted to caffeine and I was in the ER for some unbeknownst cause. I know I should be focusing on the positives and other than doing a good job with my obligations I am happy to say meeting James was another positive in my life this semester. God knows what I would have done without him. He was def my saving grace and one of the people who kept me from going off the deep end( Gabe has always been there for me too whenever I need him ). So anyways back to the resolution and my point to this rambling- I need to re-establish balance in my life. Everything was work all the time, I had no time to enjoy myself. I want to add yoga and Zumba and running back in. I want to add having fun and seeing my friends more back into my life. I think part of the issue is I have never been one to like being tied down to obligations. I like to be able to move about freely and when I get bored to move onto something new. It’s time to reestablish boundaries for myself and to figure out some way to have fun amongst this crazy frickin schedule. Make some time for mediation and prayer again and make some time for me. Cause at the end of the day my health and my happiness are the most important things to consider. Well I think I have rambled enough for one day. Happy new years everybody!
You know it’s finals when:
10) Every seat in the library is full.
9) The amount of caffeinated beverages you consumed is more than the hours of sleep you got.
8)You are too tired to wear anything other than yoga pants and sweats
7) You have created a playlist just for studying
6) Everyone’s status has one or more of the following words: death, stress, fucked, die, monster/red bull/coffee, kill-me
5) When you get pissed at those two gi(dumb bitches)rls for talking and giggling in the library
4) When you start to picture different ways to kill your professors for the massive amount of work
3) When you start to contemplate which building is the tallest on campus……and whether it would just injure you or not when you jumped off it
2) It’s the first time the whole semester you are staying up on a weekend NOT to drink
1) When you find stupid ways to procrastinate such as blogging or arguing with your friends over who has more shit to do.
So finals are quickly approaching and with it so is the end of the year(thank you baby Jesus). I remember being sooooo stoaked to be a junior and live in the apartments….now I’m kinda like….please bring me back to when I was just a baby frosh and we had all the free time in the world. This year kinda blows. On a variety of levels. Firstly, nursing this year fucking sucks. Like seriously who was the idiot who decided it be a great idea to put all the nursing students in one room…the same frickin room from 8:30-3? like really? and after having to wake up the day before at 5 to be at clinicals for 6 hours? plus the circulum is wayyy harder this year. IDK it just sucks. Plus add on top of that being an RA, babysitting, and leading 4th hour…..I didn’t get to see anyone this semester….I haven’t been able to go for a run in like 2 whole months and I haven’t done yoga in like +6 months at this point. I feel like this whole semester went by in a blur….like I can’t focus on anything cause I’m being pulled in 7 different directions all the time. Idk what I’m going to do but something must be done. Next semester I think I’m going to quit school and become a homeless person…..good it’s settled.
1. go to the philadelphia zoo
2. take a picture with all of the statues on campus
3. Visit the campus observatory
4. Visit Lancaster
5. Visit the magic gardens
6. Lead Search
7. Internship with the Bryn Mawr birth center
8. Visit Reading terminal market
9. Visit Italian Market, Rittenhouse Square
10. Visit South street
11. Visit Adventure Aquarium
12. Ice skating at hte River Rink
13. Kiss under the whispering arches
14. Day Glow 2012
15. Be a part of a flash mob
16. Cosi smores/melting pot with friends
17. Kelly’s on St. Patty’s day
for now more to be added after babysitting
So this is probably the 15th nursing class that I failed to pay attention in. Probably would speak to my last nursing exam grade. I need to figure out something fun to do because I am so busy with babysitting, nursing, 4th hour, POWER, LEAP, and RA life. Everytime I have a free moment I feel guilty for not doing my homework expecially because I am SOOOOO far behind. I really want to start doing Bikram yoga at the studio in Berwyn but its Halloweekend so I think I should probably wait until afterwards.ANYWAYYYYS…..My life is very confusing right now and I love how I get myself involved in the worse sitcuations.